The changes divorce brings often overwhelm and seem devastating. People often cannot imagine life after divorce. For good reason.
- Marriage defines – who we are, how others see us, how we see ourselves.
- Marriage shapes – the rhythm, pattern, the focus of our lives.
- Marriage sets the course – through anniversaries, life milestones, and investments—marriage guides where we are going and how we get there.
Now, as the definition, the rhythm, the course fall away—what is left?
While the changes are inevitable and hard, those changes also offer opportunity.
Marriage requires each person to give up aspects of their life for the sake of the union. Good marriages seek to protect each person’s strengths, priorities, and dreams. And, at the same time, marriage requires each person to still sacrifice for the sake of the whole. You let go—of dreams, of friends, of opportunities–for the sake of the union. While necessary and good, this can still be hard.
Divorce offers the chance to reconnect with interests, relationships, hobbies, or even living situations given up to support the marriage. Rarely, do people have the chance to remake their lives. Precisely because divorce impacts every area—it brings the opportunity to rework every area. And, to rework it to meet your personal desires, priorities, and values.
More, marriages often come apart because unhealthy patterns took root. Whether we initiated the unhealthy pattern or not, we are shaped by and become part of those patterns. For divorcing couples, home life was often defined by unresolved conflict leading to mounting anger or withdrawal. These patterns often affect relationships with others–children, friends, colleagues. Life post-divorce offers the chance to reset the culture of home. To begin fresh, healthy patterns of relating to others.
For parents, this often begins in developing new patterns with children. As parents relate to each other, they can put each other in a box—limiting the other’s ability to relate to children. More, parents who struggle with each other often react to one another through the children—shaping engagement with them in unhealthy ways. As you move to separate homes, you have the opportunity to reset with children. To step into roles formerly the province of the other parent. To focus on your children for who they are and in your own style. To shape a home you want your children to replicate.
At Resolution Mediation we offer you the chance in mediation to consider what you want from life and to begin planning that life. We use the mediation process to facilitate those changes.
For more information on how we can help you through divorce and protect your future, please click HERE or call us at 317-793-0825. We look forward to serving you.