As a mediator, a common situation never ceases to amaze me. A couple comes to the office. One adamantly demands divorce. The other looks lost, confused, and wonders how their spouse could refuse to consider trying to save the marriage.
As the conversation unfolds, it comes out that the confused spouse had previously announced they wanted a divorce. Multiple times. Often as they packed to leave. Yet, in my office they say something like, “I never thought it would come to this.”
The Problem
In movies or shows, a character flinging “I want a divorce!” in another’s face as they dramatically exit is seen as a win. In real life, flinging this statement at a spouse just to make a point often backfires. When their spouse finally takes them seriously, both lose.
The Solution
If, “I want a divorce” really means, “I’m desperately unhappy and want our relationship to change,” there is hope. Marital Mediation offers couples the opportunity to assess where their marriage works, where it does not, and make needed changes.
In Marital Mediation you work with the mediator to build a plan for moving from what your marriage is to what you want. Rather than focusing on feelings or past patterns, the mediator helps you address concrete areas of marriage such as finances, parenting, and decision-making.
You work with the mediator to build a plan for navigating these areas together. Building a “we” around the important areas of marriage.
Because conflicts in these areas are the prime causes of divorce, addressing these issues offers the most hope for saving marriage.
As you work through concrete areas in the marriage, you often uncover obstacles to communicating productively or resolving conflicts in a healthy way. The mediator helps you move to better patterns that include your values and desires.
You work together to blend strengths, honor differences, and build the life you both want. Rather than focusing on past hurts, you focus on building a strong future—together.
Dramatic effect is essential to movies. And, deadly to marriages. Instead of flinging words that lead to something no one really wants—consider Marital Mediation.
If you would like more information on Marital Mediation email info@ResolutionMediationIn.com or call 317-793-0825. We look forward to serving you.
