In a few short weeks, children will close the books on another school year. As children anticipate summer break, parents must plan summer childcare, fun outings, and family vacation. How can you and your co-parent join forces to ensure your children enjoy a great summer?
Children cling to the special time of summer, which may make the first few summers after divorce especially difficult. Children often interpret “different” as “bad.” Co-parents preserve special summers when you work together so children experience “different” as “good.”
Cooperation Creates Great Summers
The research is clear—when parents work together, children thrive. Parents work together best when they communicate and plan ahead. Thinking ahead gives time for both to consider all options instead of reacting on the spur of the moment. It also establishes expectations, which helps you support each other. So, set a time to share ideas about summer and make a plan.
Discuss Important Events
To make a plan, you should provide specific dates or events you would like to share with children. As you pool ideas, you can agree on which to honor this summer. In a shared calendar, mark dates for summer camps, sports tournaments, extended family events, and special opportunities. You each know what is coming and can support the special times for both homes.
This also helps you plan ahead for needed adjustments in the parenting plan. As you make time for the family reunion for one family, how do you adjust time for the other parent?
Plan Summer Childcare
Work together to find stable, reliable childcare. Nothing spoils summer like a day-to-day panic over who is caring for children. High school or college students often make great caregivers. Summer camps, summer school programs, and Boys and Girls clubs also offer childcare.
Parents will need to work together as many of these programs don’t last the full workday. Planning who drops off, who picks up, and how to fill the gap takes cooperation.
Adjusting parenting plans can also fill the gap. If one parent is more available during the day—balancing time between days and evenings may allow both to have more time with kiddos—a win for everyone.
Detail Vacations
Often the biggest focus of the summer, fully discuss vacations plans. This avoids the race to snatch dates or buying airline tickets for same week. Parents know where their children are going and when, creating more peace of mind.
This also opens discussion for the pragmatic—are vaccinations up to date (especially for foreign travel), where are passports, and what medications need to be filled?
Finally, knowing plans allows each parent to affirm children’s excitement about the other parent’s plans. Children feel more comfortable being excited if both parents are on board. And, they feel free to share their memories once they get back, which increases bonding with both.
Find the Positive
Avoid seeing the time children are vacationing with the other parent as a loss. If you mope, no matter how much you think you are hiding it, children know. They watch closely to make sure both parents are ok. So be excited for them. If you can’t, you will ruin the time for them.
More, parenting is hard. While children are away—use the time for your own renewal. Get away with friends. Spend a day in bed eating your favorite foods and watching old movies. Try a new activity. Rest. Before you know it, children will be back sharing stories. And you will have some stories of your own.
Plan ahead. Work together. Support each other. As you do, you make summer great for your children.
If you would like more information on navigating all the decisions divorce requires, contact Resolution Mediation for our Couples Mediation by clicking HERE or calling 317-793-0825. We look forward to serving you.
As always, the above is for information only. Seek a professional for guidance in your personal situation. This is an advertisement.
